Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What have you learned from your parents' mistakes?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

What's your review of the movie Poor Things?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Private-sector firms added just 37,000 jobs in May, the lowest total in more than two years - CNN

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Would Donald Trump's reelection make the world more dangerous?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

What are some common examples of condescending behavior?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Is there a stereotype that South Indians are physically strong and muscular compared to other regions of India?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I actually pay taxes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What are some mind-blowing facts about Michael Jackson?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Are you able to lie, even though you have Aspergers?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Who are the archers in Genesis 49:23?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How do we write and pronounce "it's my pleasure" in Italian?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can count

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms